When we hear the words divorce, separation, breakdown of a marriage or intimate relationship, we often conjure up images of blame, heated arguments and, anger aggression and conflict or someone taking advantage of someone else.
There is no doubt and I would never want to underestimate that Divorce and separation are very difficult experiences in people’s lives, in fact studies have shown that going through a divorce is second after experiencing death of a loved one in terms of generating stress and depression. Sadly, in today’s times one in three marriages or 38% of marriages will end in divorce and this figure is higher for couples in de facto relationships.
The point that I am making is that even though the breakdown of your relationship is stressful and sad, the Divorce or Separation process can be an opportunity for you to learn and grow and experience a new beginning in your life.
Top 5 things you can do to empower yourself in a divorce or separation
Tip Number One – GET PROPER AND QUALIFIED LEGAL ADVICE
Getting proper and qualified legal advice is a must. The most successful people in life always seek professional specialist advice when they need something done or are going through a problem in their lives. They don’t rely on what their friends or neighbors have told them.
Find a lawyer who specialises in Family Law and has the knowledge, experience and competence to give you the advice you need.
Family Law is a dynamic practice of law, it is always changing and you need to work with Family Lawyers who are up to date with the law.
Tip Number Two – DON’T FORGET YOUR CHILDREN
You might be going though a difficult period of your life, but children must never be forgotten. They too are experiencing grief, loss and upset. Don’t let children get caught in the middle of conflict, any abuse or violence, always consider their needs first and protect then from any conflict.
Children are vulnerable and can be damaged if they are caught in a bitter custody battle with their parents. There is consistent social research that says that children will suffer long term, irreparable damage to their emotional and psychological health if they are caught in the conflict between warring parents.
Protect children from abuse, protect them from conflict – shower them with your love, your attention and the best you can be.
Tip Number Three – COMPLY WITH THE RULES OF FAMILY LAW
One of the central rules of Family Law is the principle of “full and frank disclosure”. The rule is there to protect all the parties that are involved in the proceedings and requires you to be transparent, honest and open. Understandably when people separate they no longer wish to “share” information” but not doing so is worse than doing so because of the consequences of not being forthcoming and the inferences that are drawn and the possibility of the other party getting more of the assets if non-disclosure is found.
Some examples of when to disclose is if you receive a new job, you receive an inheritance or your new partner moves in with you.
Tip Number Four – MAKE A COMMERCIAL DECISION
Mistakenly people believe that Family Law is an emotional area of law. The reality is that it is the time and place to make smart, sound and practical commercial decisions that will dis-entangle you from lengthy litigation and costs and give you peace of mind for your future. It is very important to get financial advice at this stage to consider what your financial needs are and what the taxation implications might be for stamp duty or capital gains tax and the like.
Consider whether you require maintenance for yourself, perhaps you need to re-train to get a better job. Don’t forget to think about child support and the cost of raising children, especially if the children attend private schools.
Make sure you enter into legally binding and enforceable contracts. There is nothing worse than relying upon the good will of another person who promises to do things that never eventuate.
Tip Number Five – COMPROMISE
Going through a divorce or separation is not the time to dig your heels in and lose perspective of your situation. It is the time to be open to negotiation, compromise and looking at the big picture of your life. The cost of not compromising and reaching agreements can be very high both personally and financially.
For further information and advice please contact us on 8999 1800.